Published by Moody Publishers on January 4, 2022
Genres: Non-Fiction, Marriage
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You need to get to safety. Now.
When the abuse starts, that’s when you know enough is enough. It’s time to find a haven somewhere else. There will be a chance down the road to assess where your marriage is headed in the long term. No one is saying divorce is the inevitable outcome. God can transform anyone.
But He doesn’t promise to do that. People choose to persist in sin. And that’s why it’s imperative for you to leave . . . so you can think clearly, take stock of the situation, and most of all, protect yourself and those whom you love.
Dr. David Clarke, a licensed psychologist specializing in marital therapy for more than 30 years, wants to help you make the break from your abusive relationship. Whether or not divorce is on the horizon is beside the point. You need to get out so you can sort it out.
Dr. Clarke understands this journey won’t be easy. That’s why he provides a step-by-step plan that includes practical advice as well as biblical guidance. But leave you must, because abuse is a sin that doesn’t come from above. Let this book help you get away from your abuser so you can give your marriage the best chance to succeed. Because only with some distance will you be able to see what your loving, ever-faithful God has in store for you.
Despite this book’s heavy topic, I found it to be a quick and easy read. David E. Clarke writes in a very concise and clear style, and each chapter is brief, well-organized, and to-the-point. Over the course of the book, he addresses what abuse looks like, why people stay, and how they can get out. He also explains why it is biblical and godly for an abused spouse to leave their abuser, how they can give their abuser a chance to repent and reconcile, and what they can do if that person refuses to change. Clarke is honest about all of the difficulty realities involved, but he provides a clear plan for escape. I am impressed with how thorough this book is, despite its brevity, and highly recommend it to both abuse victims and their helpers.
Enough Is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God’s Help offers a deep dive into common reasons why people wrongly encourage Christian women to stay in their abusive marriages. Clarke dismantles common myths and offers a strong, well-argued explanation for why it is right and essential for abuse victims to get out of abusive situations, regardless whether long-term reconciliation is possible. He also provides litmus tests to help readers determine if they are being abused or just dealing with an unhappy marriage, and he equips readers with ways to either persuade church leaders to help them or reach a point of stability where they can pursue a new church.
Throughout the book, Clarke includes client testimonials, showing how abuse victims have experienced victory in different stages of their healing processes. Most of these stories are from women, and he directs this book to a majority-female audience, but he also includes examples of husbands abused by their wives. I greatly appreciate this, since I usually critique books about abuse for failing to acknowledge male victims and perpetuating common blind spots. Enough Is Enough avoids this common pitfall, and its advice applies to both sexes.
I highly recommend this book to Christians who think they might be in abusive marriages, are preparing to leave their abusers, or are helping a friend in one of those situations. This is also an excellent book for pastors and other church staff members to read, especially since it provides such a clear, biblical rationale for why people should leave their abusers. This is an excellent, concise, and highly readable resource that can change people’s minds and make a huge difference in the lives of abuse victims and their loved ones.