The Myth of Good Christian Parenting with Marissa Burt

About this Episode

What happens when “biblical parenting” becomes an industry? Author and researcher Marissa Burt joins Ministry on the Margins to discuss her book The Myth of Good Christian Parenting (with Kelsey McGinnis). We trace the arc from the 1970s rise of James Dobson’s Dare to Discipline through today’s influencer economy, and explore how certainty, control, and culture-war fear shaped family life—and faith. We also talk practical, grace-filled ways forward that prioritize connection over compliance.

In This Episode You’ll Hear

• How the modern “Christian parenting” market emerged in the 1970s and why Dare to Discipline was a turning point
• Why self-platformed experts often lacked child-development grounding—and why that matters for outcomes and harm
• How theological authoritarianism merged with parenting scripts (e.g., “obey instantly without question”)
• The generational fallout: delayed individuation, boundary-setting, and cycles of estrangement or performative connection
• Why “intent doesn’t mitigate impact” and how families can start by telling the truth and listening to lived stories
• Practical reframes: become a student of the child, use developmentally informed expectations, and seek value-aligned resources

About the Book

Christian parents want to raise their kids in a godly way. But what if families have been sold promises that “biblical parenting” can never deliver?

Christian parents want to raise godly children, but what happens when popular biblical parenting methods cause more harm than good? The Myth of Good Christian Parenting exposes how the Christian parenting industry has sold families false promises for five decades, leaving a trail of religious trauma, damaged relationships, and lost faith in its wake. This groundbreaking analysis offers

●  historical analysis – traces the development of the Christian parenting industry and its influential figures who built parenting empires;
●  research-based insights – features survey data from adult children and parents affected by authoritarian parenting methods;
●  theological examination – analyzes how popular teachings on authority, compliance, corporal punishment, and control diverge from Jesus’s teachings; and
●  encouragement for a better future – equips readers to pursue a new path of freedom and mutual respect within their families.

Marissa Franks Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis combine rigorous research with compelling storytelling to reveal how evangelical parenting culture has shaped–and often strained–families from the 1970s to today. Drawing on history, sociology, theology, and extensive survey responses from adult children and parents, they trace the rise of Christian parenting empires that idealize obedient children and perfect households while leaving real families feeling inadequate. They also examine the lasting damage caused by popular Christian parenting teachings–including loss of faith, estrangement, religious trauma, and deep regret for older parents–and provide hope for healing.

Whether you’re a Christian parent questioning traditional methods, an adult recovering from a strict religious upbringing, or a church leader seeking healthier family ministry approaches, this book equips you to pursue mutual respect, emotional safety, and authentic faith within your family relationships.

About the Author

Marissa Burt is a writer and scholar exploring the intersection of theology, culture, and family systems. With co-author Kelsey McGinnis, she traces the development of evangelical parenting frameworks and offers a path toward relational, developmentally wise, theologically grounded care. Marissa is a novelist, editor, teacher, and cohost of the At Home with the Lectionary and In the Church Library podcasts. She lives in a small town in Washington’s Snoqualmie Valley with her husband, six children, and heaps of books.

Helpful Links

• Order The Myth of Good Christian Parenting 
• Explore more episodes of Ministry on the Margins at LifeIsStory.com

Favorite Quotes

“We mark the publication of Dare to Discipline, Dobson’s first 1970s book that went on to be kind of a runaway bestseller as the beginning of what we refer to as the explicitly Christian parenting book market.

“Intent doesn’t mitigate impact, right? This is a messy, messy reality… people were drawn to this to parent in these kind of authoritarian ways because they didn’t want to repeat what they had experienced.”

“The authoritarian frameworks, the ‘you act as an agent of God’ frameworks, give parents no wiggle room, right? Like you can’t be wrong. You can’t change your mind. You need to enforce this certain measure of compliance.”

“There’s so much freedom for the Christian parent. The Bible isn’t a parenting manual. You have one explicit instruction in the New Testament—‘Fathers, do not provoke or embitter your children.’ Other than that, we have these one-anothering principles: forgive, restore gently, be patient, love your neighbor as yourself. Within that, there’s such broad freedom regarding methodology.”